Potty Training Guide/Tips

I potty trained my toddler to use the potty in about 5 days using a popular (and free) potty training guide. In this blog post, I'll share the free 3-day guide I used, the essential items needed, and tips/tricks I wish I'd known beforehand because the guide (spoiler alert) was not enough. My toddler was around 2.5 years old when we began. We could have started earlier, but we chose to wait until after the holidays to fully commit to potty training. While the guide is very useful and has great tips, keep an open mind about timing. Glowacki, author of Oh Crap! Potty Training, explains that there's a widespread belief that potty training takes three days. However, those initial days are mainly about helping a child get accustomed to the process. In reality, effective potty training typically requires 7-10 days, or even longer, to fully take hold. Imposing a strict timeline can create pressure for your child, which can lead to setbacks. Therefore, it's important not to be too hard on yourself or your child. Accidents are part of the process!!

Potty Training Essentials

What to know before you start potty training:

Roughly a month ago, I started letting him join me in the bathroom. While it might appear intrusive, my goal was to make using the toilet a normal experience for him. My toddler was already coming in with me each time (he has no sense of boundaries but what toddler does lol), so I used it as a teaching opportunity. I described that I was peeing, showed him how to wipe, flush, and washed our hands afterward. Eventually, he became so accustomed to the routine that he would tell me what to do next!

Is your toddler ready? The 3-day guide indicates that a key sign of readiness for potty training is the child's ability to regularly express their needs. Communication isn't limited to speech; gestures, behaviors, sounds are forms of communication too. If you can understand that your child wants something, and the child can direct you to the item, that is good enough. Other guides I've read also said similar things.

What you need to start:

1. Lots of underwear. The 3-day guide recommended 20-30 pairs, and you truly need that many. On the first day alone, he went through 7 pairs. I purchased 22 pairs to avoid frequent washing. I favor all-cotton underwear, so I chose these (great quality) and Hanes as a more affordable cotton line at Target/Walmart. These are another all cotton boxer brief! I considered buying him Disney character underwear, but they were polyester and appeared likely to deteriorate after two washes.

   
   

2. Training potty or urinal. I decided to buy him a small toddler potty. He wasn't comfortable using the regular toilet yet, fearing he might fall in. We chose this one. It "flushes," has space for wipes, and the top seat can be detached for use on a regular toilet. Ideal for the early stages of potty training!

   
   

3. Step stool. You'll need one so they can reach the sink or later when they use a regular-sized toilet. I got this one! It's easy to assemble, sturdy, and has a non-slip bottom.

   
   

4. High fiber foods. We managed to handle #1 initially, but I didn't anticipate him withholding #2, and I wasn't ready for that. Apparently, this is quite common, especially among boys. There are various reasons for this behavior, such as wanting control, experiencing hard stools, or feeling afraid. By the second day, we were prepared and purchased foods high in fiber to help ease his bowel movements. These foods include apples, nuts, berries, bananas, beans, lentils, peas, brown rice, quinoa, chia seeds, flax seeds, spinach, chickpeas, etc. I made sure to include a high-fiber food in every meal and snack.

   
   

5. Treats. Not as a bribe, but for successfully using the potty, I used a small jar of mini M&M's. I suggest choosing a small treat (be cautious of choking hazards for young toddlers) since they might have over 10 successful potty trips, and a larger treat could interfere with their snacks or meals (plus you probably don't want a sugar crazed toddler that's not potty trained running around haha). Stickers or small little toys were recommended too! These treats should be accompanied by plenty of praise and positive reinforcement!

   
   

6. Fluids: The guide suggests encouraging your toddler to drink more than usual. I offered juice diluted with water. Since we rarely have juice, it felt like a special treat for him, and he was able to drink more! The reason for giving your toddler more fluids is to increase their chances of using the potty!

   
   

7. Travel Seat: The guide recommends staying indoors for the 3 days, but sometimes it's unavoidable. Additionally, it was something I needed to get regardless. I just wanted to be ready. I considered two options for a travel potty. This seat is foldable and extremely compact. I like that it's small enough to fit into my bag and bring into a restaurant or store. The other one I looked at is a foldable training potty. I can see this portable potty being useful if we are in area without a bathroom near us like a park.

   
   

8. Mattress Protector: Since we're not using pull-ups or diapers during bedtime and naps, we needed something to safeguard the mattress against potential accidents. This protector comes in various sizes, including one for a crib!

   
   

The Guide:

I believe this guide is excellent and offers valuable information. However, it lacks details on dealing with a toddler withholding bowel movements. Like I said earlier, there's a widespread belief that potty training takes three days. However, those initial days are mainly about helping a child get accustomed to the process. In reality, effective potty training typically requires 7-10 days, or even longer, to fully take hold. I still suggest reading the entire guide, and I'll also share our daily routine and an additional tip I learned from a pediatric physical therapist.

3-Day Potty Training Guide by Lora Jensen pdf

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Download • 277KB

Guide Highlights:

• Say goodbye to diapers with your toddler. Pack them up in front of your child and dispose of them. Use only underwear from now on—no pull-ups or similar products.

• Maintain a positive attitude and shower your toddler with praise, even for just trying! Do your best not to show frustration in front of them. While the goal is three days, remember that every child is different! Some may need extra days, and that's perfectly fine. My child quickly understood going #1, but #2 took us a bit longer.

• The guide suggests to avoid engaging in a power struggle by not asking "Do you need to potty?" Instead, remind your child to let you know what they need to go. This approach didn't work for my toddler. In other guides I read they suggested to offer choices ("Do you want to go in the big potty or the little potty?"), make it a challenge ("Let's race to the potty!"), or state it directly ("Time to potty now!"). These worked well for my child!

• The guide recommended not drinking anything 2-3 hours before bed, which I thought was a bit unreasonable. We tried 1 hour, and it was effective as long as we used the bathroom twice before bedtime (once after dinner and once after brushing his teeth).

• Your child should wear only a t-shirt and underwear to easily be able see if there's a dribble or full blown accident.

• Each time your child checks the underwear and they are dry, give positive reinforcement and praise.

• Catch your child in the act of peeing or using the potty. If they start going in their underwear, quickly pick them up and take them to the bathroom. Say, “Oh no, your underwear isn’t dry anymore.” Place them on the toilet to finish. Avoid saying “Bad Girl.” Even if it’s the 20th accident, refrain from using negative words like “bad” or “no.” Just remind them to keep their underwear dry and to let you know if they need to go. If they manage to go even a little in the toilet, reward them. Praise them and express how proud you are. We are focusing on positive reinforcement.

Our potty "schedule":

I don't force him on the potty (we're keeping it positive!)- I just noticed that he would typically go during these times. The schedule below does NOT include all the times we went to the potty-sometimes it's less! Keep in mind, we are reminding them to inform us, offering choices, or stating directly to go potty. Now, he just tells me he needs to go!

6:00 AM-7:30AM	As soon as he wakes up, we go straight to the potty.
7:30 AM-8:30 AM	About 15-30 minutes after eating breakfast, we go to the potty.
9:30AM-10AM	About 15-30 minutes after eating snack, we go to the potty.
11:30AM-12:00PM	About 15-30 minutes after eating lunch, we go to the potty.
1:00PM-3:00PM	Nap time. We go to the potty right before nap and right after he wakes up from nap. We don't use pull ups/diapers for nap time and have no accidents. If we did, I'll just clean up. I didn't want to confuse him with going back and forth with underwear and pulls up. We already said goodbye to diapers!
3:00PM-3:30PM	About 15-30 minutes after eating snack, we go to the potty.
5:30PM	About 15-30 minutes after eating dinner, we go to the potty.
6:15PM-7:00PM	Bath time and Bedtime. Take bath, put pjs on, brush teeth with water running lightly, go potty again, read some books, and go to bed.
Running Errands	Potty before we leave, while running errands if needed on the travel potty, and once we got home.

Withholding #2:

As I mentioned before, my child grasped the concept of going #1 quickly, but #2 took us more time. I could tell he needed to go because he was squirming, crossing his legs, passing a lot of gas, etc. However, whenever we went to his potty, he just wouldn't go. He held it for 51 hours, which was becoming alarming. After consistently trying all the methods below, he finally went! My toddler is now potty trained, with no overnight or nap accidents, and no need for pull-ups! I plan to keep rewarding him for a little while longer to maintain the fun. The most important lesson I learned was to remain patient and positive. I lost my temper when he held it in for 51 hours. My toddler was in pain, repeatedly saying "it hurts, it hurts" from holding it for so long. We went back and forth to the potty all day during that time, but he just didn't want to push. I was exhausted. I stepped back, looked him in the eyes, and apologized, but if you're like me, you know the guilt can be overwhelming. Just remember, you're not alone. This was one of the toughest challenges I've faced since those sleep regressions when he was a couple months old. Every child is different and handles things in their own way. Give yourself and your toddler plenty of grace. This will pass too.

If this sounds like your toddler, try these:

1. Include high fiber foods/fluids in every meal: These foods include apples, nuts, berries, bananas, beans, lentils, peas, brown rice, quinoa, chia seeds, flax seeds, spinach, chickpeas, etc. Both will help with potential constipation.We don't want they're first poo on the potty to be a painful on to pass!

2. Movement: Plenty of movement throughout the day - I have been adding froggie jumps and squats to his get bowel movements going.

3. Adopt a positive reinforcement approach without applying pressure. It's understandable to feel frustrated since you don't want them to suffer from withholding, but try not to let it show. This won't be beneficial for them.

4. Physical Therapist tip: Blow bubbles in a cup to potty! It's a method used in potty training where a child blows bubbles into a cup of soapy water (plain water works too!) while sitting on the toilet. This can help them relax the muscles required for using the bathroom by engaging the same muscles used for blowing air out. Essentially, it's a playful activity that encourages bowel movements by activating the necessary muscles. We would take him to the potty whenever he showed signs of needing to go. During each visit, I had him blow bubbles for about 5 minutes. If he seemed to lose interest, I would make it entertaining by enthusiastically saying, "Let's make big bubbles, now small ones, now big like a dinosaur, now small like an ant," and so on. After the eighth trip to the potty, when he clearly needed to go, he finally did after blowing bubbles!

5. Patience. I try to keep in mind that he was in diapers for 2.5 years and that's all he knew before I switched it up on him. It takes time and some children get it in a few days and others it takes longer.

What's next:

Once he becomes accustomed to the small training potty and wishes to use a regular toilet, I'll purchase this attachment or something like this! Some parents opt to use these from the start to avoid cleaning the training potty—it's up to you and your toddler! My child was simply afraid of sitting up there, so I wanted to make it as comfortable for him as possible. Having a travel potty has been incredibly useful! I store it in a small backpack with extra underwear, clothes, hand sanitizer, wipes, and a plastic ziplock for soiled clothing, and leave the bag in the car.